“Mummy, there’s dead bodies in there.” And other toddler musings.


It’s strange. Toddlers can act like lunatics on rocket fuel 90% of the time but occasionally they will look at you and say something… well… kind of poignant … or funny .. or just something so adorable you want to cry. I shall share with you a few gems from my own son, who is half demon half adorable puppy.

“Why do dead people go in a box if they can’t move? Why not put them in soil like a flower?” – I did not actually have an answer for this except my go to “because they do”.

“If you are sad, you won’t enjoy your cake” – a lovely reminder to stay present and enjoy the little things 🍰

“The monsters are vegetarian” – fair enough

“No Mummy. YOU put it there.” – when I said the elf on the shelf had a “busy” night.

Me: “Santas real.”
Toddler: “No he’s not he’s plastic”

“Grown ups smoke because they are stupid” – I hope he keeps this one !

“If it’s time to get up why are you still in bed?”- whoops

Me: “let the lady past”
Toddler: (laughing) “That’s not a lady that’s a man!”- mortified

Comes through with mascara on (translation: everywhere but his eyelashes) “Are my eyes pretty?”

“Mummy, do I stink?”

“People who copy you are silly Mummy.” Ok then!

“Why is your tinkle poorly?” – whilst pointing at my vagina.

“Will I have boobs?”

“What’s periods?”

“I won’t listen to you if you shout” (How. Dare.He)

“Why is your bum bleeding Mummy?”(barging into the bathroom at an unfortunate time of month)

“Do you need a poo?” (In the middle of a shop)

“I’ve had a poo and now I must have a bath.”

“Your tummy is fat.” – I am aware.

Whilst putting coins in a jar, “You said we need more coins to get a bigger house, so I’m putting them all in here.”

Whilst looking at a very creepy countryside shack, “There’s dead bodies in there.”

This is the place that has “dead bodies”.

“We all have a skeleton inside of us. It allows our body to stick on.”

“Everyone is beautiful.” Aww!

“We don’t eat clouds do we?” No, we do not.

“Can we clean our house now?” Maybe later.

“I can’t be a princess if I don’t have a dress.” Princess is a mentality my son.

“Mummy you are beautiful” ❤️❤️❤️


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