The Man Bullsh*t translator







What he Says




What he actually means



‘I’m not looking for anything serious right now.’



‘If you are up for a casual shag then I’m your guy, but if you mention the R word I’m going to run a mile.’


‘I’m busy.’


‘I’m too lame to think of a better excuse as to why I’ve gone MIA.’


(When confronted with the ‘where is this going?’ question)


‘I can’t make any promises.’


‘I have stuff going on.’


‘Let’s see how it goes.’


‘You are a nice girl, BUT…’






‘I’m not into you, but too much of a coward to say so. Plus if I keep it vague you may let me in for a nightcap.’


‘You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.’


‘My willy is hard.’


‘Wyd, 2nite?’


‘I’ve sent this to five girls in the hope they will reply.’




‘I forgot all about you until you posted that bomb selfie.’


‘I will let you know….’


‘I won’t let you know.’


‘I’m really into you, but I’m super caught up with work.’


‘I’m a coward of the highest order.’


‘I’m different from most guys.’


‘I’m a psychopath that will ruin your life.’


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