So I’m sure from reading other posts you are pretty up to date with what makes your new man decidedly un-worthy of you and your children. I could write an entire Bible’s worth of information on terrible men, who crawl from under their respective rocks to ghost, mess you around and so forth, but I felt it was time to spread some positive vibes. Contrary to popular belief all men aren’t the same. They don’t all prowl the streets with a hard on looking for some girl to cheat on and lie to. They don’t all pretend to want to marry you in order to get laid. Some guys are actually honest, and pretty decent.
Let’s compare some behaviours, and get to grips with what makes a man worthy of your time.
1. Keeper: A man who calls when he says he will, shows up on time. Consistency is key here, this one is worth having.
Dine n’ Ditch: His communication is very intense at first and then trails off to virtually nothing. Doesn’t like phone calls, frequently cancels/makes excuses.
2. Keeper: He is super respectful of your schedule with the children, and is understanding when you have to take care of them when they are ill etc
Dine n’ Ditch: He moans that you “never have time for him” or only shows up when the kids are in bed. He doesn’t engage with your children/ join you on outings.
3. Keeper: He makes life easier for you, not harder. If your car is broken he helps you, if you are stressed he provides space for you to relax. Without wanting anything in return.
Dine n’ Ditch: He runs a bath for you once and expects to be treated like a King. Never fails to bring up “that time I ran you a bath” even though it was six months ago.
4. Keeper: He has no trouble declaring that you are his, and introducing you and your children to his family.
Dine n’ Ditch: Says he “doesn’t do labels” and you are nowhere on his Facebook.
5. Keeper: Even when your kids are acting like demons he keeps his cool, and goes out of his way to help you out.
Dine n’ Ditch: Acts like he doesn’t know you in public and is obviously embarrassed by your child.
6. Keeper: Communicates honestly and openly with you about everything. Even the grimy stuff. You ask him a question or raise a concern and he hears you out, and discusses things like an adult.
Dine n’ Ditch: Stonewalls you every time you are worried about something. Can’t conclude and argument so you end up going round in circles. Refuses to acknowledge faults. You end up feeling crazy because your voice just isn’t heard. Accuses you of being “hormonal” , as if having a womb means you can’t be legitimately angry.
7. Keeper: A man who has his shit together is one that’s worth having. This is someone who makes goals and reaches them. He’s around to stay and isn’t afraid of a challenge.
Dine n’ Ditch: Someone who lives in his Mum’s spare room and doesn’t have a job. Thinks he’s the next Bill Gates but can’t hold down a career at the local store. This is someone who can’t function in society, it’s not up to you to fix him.
8. Keeper: Compromise. You’ve heard it before but it’s true. This is a man who respects your choices.
Dine n’ Ditch: If it’s his way or the highway, even with little things, then what do you think the future holds?
9. Keeper: Notices when he needs to change. He recognises his own behaviour and is self aware. This man can improve himself.
Dine n’ Ditch: Thinks he’s “good enough” all the time. Someone who can’t grow, should go.
10. Keeper: A man who isn’t afraid to have a good fight, get a little dirty and roll with the punches. This is the kind of guy that can hold your hand in the labour suite, resolve arguments before bedtime and hand you toilet paper when you’ve shit yourself on a holiday in Bali.
Dine n’ Ditch: He squeals when you haven’t shaved for a week and complains when he’s hungry like a five year old. Bye bye.